Peacekeeper Armor PSA
by 1-1 Marines
Summary: A humorous fic considering Peacekeeper uniforms. Based off the format of an RVB PSA.


**ME: A/N: Included is an OC of fellow author _ForFutureReference_ ; check his work out, it's good.**

"Hello," said a man dressed in a modified version of Peacekeeper Dress Whites, "I'm Minister of Homeland Security Antonius Snow from the popular trilogy _Hunger Games_."

"And I'm Corporal Marcus Wilson from the same books," said a younger man who could've passed for an older brother of Katniss Everdeen, if not for his accent and Peacekeeper Dress Whites. "We're here to talk to you about uniforms."

"Specifically, how Peacekeeper Utility Uniforms are depicted in the film adaptations of _Catching Fire_ and _Mockingjay_ ," Antonius said. "Though they look cool, there are a number of issues with them. Please go on, Corporal."

"Thank you, sir," Marcus says. "While not as bad as the first outfit seen in the film adaptation of _The Hunger Games_ -the rigid breastplate would supposedly make us look bulkier and more intimidating, but in reality just needlessly hinder mobility; psychological effects being a moot point if we had guns, though the first film had us unarmed-there are flaws in the new uniform."

"First off, the helmet," Antonius added. "I love the asthetics; the opaque visor intimidates potential enemy combatants, while presenting a united fighting front. In fact, fully uniformed female Peacekeepers are mistaken as male more often nowadays in comparison to before; our troops are unified the moment they put on the helmet. Not to mention it undoubtedly includes filters, therefore providing integrated CBRN protection. The guards being knocked out in _Part One_ of _Mockingjay_ was just a ploy; they were ordered to pretend being unconscious."

"It also makes us easier to dehumanize and save the filmmakers money by reusing extras," Marcus growled.

"Shut up, Corporal. Just about every movie treats the antagonist foot soldiers as expendable, this is just Lionsgate jumping on the bandwagon." Antonius then turned back to the camera. "Anyhow, the flaw in the helmet, assuming it doesn't have coolant systems, is that heat will degrade performance due to the helmet being fully sealed. Now, Wilson; mind telling us about the second flaw?"

"Yes, sir." Marcus cleared his throat before saying, "The sequel suit seriously look like they have some ventilation holes in them or something equally stupid. I mean, is it combat gear or some athletic outfit?"

A picture appeared showing a Peacekeeper and an American infantryman, the latter clad in a MOPP 4 suit.

"Two options here, people." Antonius shook his head. "One? Hollywood decided to have some stupid uniform asthetics for the sequel rather than going for something more realistic, like a white version of any modern military utility uniform. Two? They didn't do their research. Either way, chalk this up to Hollywood being stupid, which isn't surprisingly given those worthless _James Bond_ movies."

"And now, sir, for a demonstration of why coolant systems would be needed for a fully sealed helmet."

A young Peacekeeper Private reported. "Reporting as ordered, sirs," she said in a Capitolite accent.

"Put this helmet on, soldier," Antonius ordered while handing her one.

"Right away, sir," she obeyed.

Marcus rolled out a mirror. "You like the look, boot?"

"Hell yeah, Corporal!" She yelled. "I look so professional, sir! Like a boss!"

"Good," Antonius smiled. "Now wear that helmet for thirty minutes, make sure to wait until either I or Corporal Wilson give you permission to take it off."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Thirty minutes passed. "Alright," Marcus told her, "you may remove your helmet."

The Corporal barely finished his sentence before the younger Peacekeeper tore the aforementioned item off. "Oh my God, I can't breathe in this stupid thing!" The Private screamed. "I swear, I'm gonna make that POG designer wear it for a day!"

"And that, ladies and gentlemen," Antonius concluded, "is why fully sealed helmets need coolant systems." He paused before adding, "Though theism is punishable by either Avoxing or death, Private."

"NOOO!"

 **ME: A/N: This arose out of a debate between myself and _ForFutureReference_. He prefers the first outfit, while I go for the second one seen in the later movies. While in hindsight there is a dehumanizing element, I do like the more intimidating look (and it's not illogical the Peacekeepers would use more intimidating outfits after the riot in District Eleven) and it's not as if Star Wars suffers for faceless Stormtroopers. So THG need not suffer for faceless Peacekeepers.**

 **I did include his (actually very logical; considering the dude's a grad student as of this writing, it isn't surprising) complaints, such as the design of the utility shirt and coolant systems. He did also point out vision problems as his justification for the transparent half-visors, but in light of both Panemanian tech advancement (even with the hovercraft, which got taken down by a 17-year old girl with a bow and an arrow; they do have mutts on the other hand) and the fact modern French CRS riot helmets include an opaque visor that does not hamper vision, that's less relevant. Not that he doesn't put a lot of thought into his work, which is something to be applauded.**

 **In general, stuff like the fully sealed helmets and MOPP suits are designed more for protection than comfort. Anyone remotely familiar with CBRN gear knows that; ask any veteran who's worn a gas mask and he (or she) probably won't have fond memories.**

 **Also, I noticed Katniss said, "God," at some points in the movies. Contrast with the book, where religion isn't even mentioned. I prefer the theory that theism is simply illegal in Panem rather than the anti-theistic "they outgrew silly superstitions voluntarily." Let's just assume Jennifer Lawrence was ordered to say those lines just to make Katniss more "American" for the audience.**

 **Though if you're wondering, no, Antonius isn't eager to punish the boot (USMC slang for new recruits). The funny thing is that *slight spoilers ahead for _The_ _High Road_ by _ForFutureReference_ * both he and Marcus are simply canon characters who got *gasp* names. Or in Antonius's case, a surname to go with his first name.**


End file.
